It is apparent from my dreams that my thoughts have been constantly on the fact that I start my new job tomorrow. I feel as nervous in my sleep as I am during the day but with that uncertainty I am happily surprised by the excitement growing as well. It's been five years since I have been an employee of someone. Even then I have only had one real job where I worked just a year and a half. I was six months pregnant with my oldest, Rayne, when New Life Fitness & Spa and I parted ways, and although I considered coming back to work once she was born my heart knew different. Both my husband and I felt that my being home with her was best. Just after she turned two we decided to have another baby but I started search for work regardless. Truth is I don't think we expected to get pregnant so quickly. Saige just turned two at the end of September and I finally feel at a place where I could do something part time. Once again I have chosen a local spa, an environment I feel comfortable with when it comes to practicing massage. It also gives me the chance to dabble in other modalities and I like variety.
I am most nervous about myself than anything. I worry that I will mess up somehow or embarrass myself. I have always felt like I don't fit in anywhere and I truly want to make friends at Olympus Spa. Since I can remember I have always had an anxiety disorder, something that I struggle with from day to day. I don't want that to interfere with my work because my mission is to offer light and love through positive energy. My purpose is to heal, comfort, and relax. I think that no matter what the beginning is going to be an adjustment and hopefully as I get comfortable in this new environment I can relax and do my job happily instead of with worry. Until then I am checking off all the things I need to come prepared for tomorrow and praying for the best.
